Sick

Sometimes I just need to make sure everything works like a wheel
when you smile I have to tell myself it's something honest
or when I 'm drunk and I have to convince myself to not start a  revolution
even when I'm too high and need to not vanish in my thoughts.
at Those times i need a straitjacket or just a punch in the face
and I 'm truly sorry, I can't hide an smile, easy work
but its really hard to tolerate the need to flee .

I often think of ignorance as an opportunity
but I'm fucking sick of me and my thoughts
I'm already sick of the wheel and of society, and sometimes everything.
I'm tired of taking care of all these memories
I'm sick of not sleeping without killing myself somehow in my thoughts
just smoke enough to kill yourself and do not vomit in the morning.

¿How did I became this kind of being, not functional?
No human at all
Time to sleep or wake up or stand forever.